"Look, you need to move NOW." The grizzled army veteran yelled to the confused individual on the ground.
Dazed, confused, the man in his 30's looked around and saw he was sprawled on a gallows. Two nooses hung ominously above him but the most terrifying thing was a meathook (why is there a meathook) on a platform freshly coated in blood. Chills ran down his spine, causing his shoulder to ache.
"Christ, give me a second to get my bearings."

"You don't have a -"

A loud "DONG DONG DONG" rang out from somewhere nearby and a scream that seemed to be as dry as the dusty air itself could be heard.
The older man helped the bespectacled man to his feet and urged him to move forward. Every step made the entire left side of the younger man radiate with pain. The older man took note of this.

"I'll fix you up when we get somewhere safe....well..safer anyway"

Grateful for the help but overwhelmed by his (it smells so) senses, he moved.
When the pair came upon a saloon (no this can't be right) they dove behind the bar and the haze began to give way to something resembling understanding. Terror took away any kind of rationalization and replaced it with (it won't open but i left) strange acceptance to this unusual world.

"Stand still, kid."

"Kid?! I'm Loot-(no I don't belong here)"

The man procured a bandage and some salve from a rusty (ancient) box with a cross on it. He crouched and began to work on the younger bloodied man, patching up the dramatic hole in his shoulder (wounds but safety) and mused as he did.

"Alright, yeah you got a bit of a shock. Can't blame ya. Ok Guy, *grunts* there's a thing out there (but they are) and it wants us dead, we gotta get-"

The younger man cried out as the veteran's hand slips, roughly shoving his apparently fresh shoulder wound."MOVE!"
The two run as they hear a very close "DONG DONG" behind them somewhere (outside).

"Don't look back, kid just keep running, I'll try and run him off!"

He looked back.

Out of a shimmer, a...thing emerged. (not mine) It was horribly scarred and disfigured. It carried an ancient bell in one hand and a (but the war is over) club that seemed to be made of bone in the other. It's eyes glowed brightly blue. (no one escapes death)

The older man vaulted noisily through a window (but I tried) and screamed, hoping to capture the attention of the thing.(but it isn't mine)
The malevolent thing grunted with a horrible chuffing noise, something out of a nightmare, alive yet undead, and lunged at the window, stepping through it, resuming (it won't stop) it's chase with the older man.

The younger man gasped for air, looking ahead and tripping over some deadwood on the ground, littering the path between buildings in this arid twilight world (time is wrong)

The deadwood dressed in a soccer jersey moved in pain and cried out (she did) at this intrusion,
“Please….help me…”

She was clearly younger than him, probably in her mid 20’s...but dressed (incorrectly) in fashion he didn’t quite understand. While not quite dead(wood) this person was clearly on death's door (if it would open for me) 

“I’m sorry I don’t know...I don’t know how!” (dear god her face is her face) he cried at her but he knew he had to. He tried to pick her up and after a few seconds, clumsily, he got her to her feet. “Thank you” she whispered (she couldn’t whisper though open the door why won’t it open) and prompted him to try to help with her wounds as the grizzled thing-chased man screamed out in agony (they always do) somewhere far away.

“I can’t. I…” (I always do butopenthedoor now) He stood up, and ran. He figured there must be a door somewhere. The door will lead to his freedom, he knew somehow. It was starting to come back to him. The trials (the trials never end), the campfire. But no (not yours) what came before this?

Exhausted he took a breath near a propped up pallet. If only he didn’t leave her behind. His daughter. He wouldn’t have needed to escape, it all came rushing back like waves of grief. He knew her face but it was blackened. (explosions)

He realized that he couldn’t go back for the young woman he tripped over, (she’s not real but she wasiswas) nor the old man screaming in agony, no doubt on one of those damned hooks (i never would have left). He had to keep searching for the door. There was no past now. Only the now (now then) and the truth. His daughter’s face a void microcosm of empty (the door hast to respond it hast to why doesn’t it) pain and suffering. (left behind aloneyouleft)

The earth shuddered. A low groan, a booming sound and there were no more screams. 
DONG DONG DONG DONG

He felt the thing (ididn’tmakeit) closing in on him as he attempted to find an escape (it won’t respond why) along the wall. His hands came upon a power box of sorts, desperately he flipped the switch. The shimmer charged closer. The door opened (but I didn’t call for it) and as the man fell through the doorway, he felt his back rip open with that jagged tool (her facewhyherface) and it was a cold, wet sensation. More cold and sudden than he could have expected an impossible to imagine situation to be. (but I didn’t call for the arch I can’t have the arch why is the )
---------

“Any luck this time Elim?”

“Well as you can see, my excellency, Lieutenant Vriess’ spirit has broken. His abandonment of his daughter on Terok Nor has caused a psychic break. Each time we send him back to the campfire, he forgets a little more of who he is...well...was. The technique is astounding in the ability to erase the deeper synapses and leave only the most painful residual emotions when they think they are in control.”

“What do you mean ‘In Control’? Why have you not simply executed this traitor to the alliance?”

“Ah! Yes, Regent, his mind deals with the intense suffering he is experiencing by confusing the now with the holodeck programs he designed long ago. Ones of a camping experience. I just...tweaked those memories and let him think he is in a simulation.”

“But he is.”

“Yes, precisely! But not his own, the illusion of control, combined with his abandonment of his daughter, his deepest regret, he left her behind you know, back when Their Sisko was here and she was nothing more than collateral damage when the rebels tried to take the station. He abandoned ship when the battle began. Left her when things got tough.”

“Bah! What is your point? He is a craven coward”

“Have you not heard? They have a cloaking device we could...acquire and turn the tide. Imagine putting one of the rebels in this simulator…having their darkest fears prey upon them, making them utterly useless after giving us all the information we need, or maybe reprogrammed to unpredictable violent insanity. Letting them return a husk. They always come for their people, this will be their downfall. Eventually the fear would be contagious. The rebels would learn to fear the unknown agony of existential unrelenting terror that we promise them. A fate worse than death would keep the rebel ranks few and far between.”

“You may have proven yourself useful, Cardassian, the rebels will know us as fear, and in that we will destroy their hearts.”

The scream rang out, piercing the reverberating air. He had been caught. She had seen him just moments ago, but he had been caught. As the claws descended from the darkened sky, she knew that there was only one more. One final partner to depend on, or so she hoped. She continued carefully wrapping the bandages around her punctured waist, blood oozing through each layer as she tried to stem the flow. It was as hopeless a task, she thought, as that which stood in the way of her escape. The gates were still closed and, last she had checked, there was still not enough power to open them.

She knew there was still one more. She felt his presence burning into her vision as if he were right there. He was working, trying to quietly evade the encroaching terror that threatened them both. Not long ago, they had been planning to rescue the others. A fruitless task, that ended in despair. Regardless, he was capable, focused, and aware. Perhaps they would get out of here after all.

The enchanting, unholy, unsettling melody flooded her mind. As she crept towards the broken machine, she did everything she could to focus on her task. Connect a wire here, pull that lever there. It was an easy task, and yet here, it took effort just to breathe. The heartbeat started again. Not hers, but another’s. Abandoning her task and creeping away, she knew hiding was the only safe thing to do. Her desperation to escape needed to be tempered with purposeful caution.

A hatchet flew through the air, close enough for her to hear the whistle of the blade as it sliced the sky. Had she been seen? She had been so careful, after all. No, it must have been an attempt to bait her into action. She would hold still until the terror had passed. It worked. The heartbeat faded, then the song. It was safe to return to work.


Safe for her, at least, as she suddenly sensed, through the fog and the oppressive buildings standing amongst them, that he had been hurt. A cry rang out. She tried her best to ignore it and continue working, but it was still disquieting. Somewhere, he was being hunted. The adrenaline would pump, feet would run, both hearts pounding in a vile rhythm. But there was no scream. No sounds of struggle and no horrid feeling that something wicked had happened.


And then, that sound. The warm, shrill blare of a siren, announcing their work was complete. It was time to down tools and head home, after a hard day’s work. She knew where to go. She could see her partner heading there. But she could hear the melody. It crept up on them, as her ally began to open the gate, tearing down that final barrier to freedom. She was feeling stronger, and he had managed to patch his wounds for the moment. But the song grew louder. They were almost out of time. The heartbeat started again, growing loud, more ominous, more disturbing. The horror had arrived. The loud clanging of metal heralded the opening of the escape.


But it was too late. As the gate came to a rest, she looked down at her stomach. A hatchet, rusty and jagged, was lodged in her side. She hadn’t even had time to react, and she fell to the ground, writhing in pain. Her partner hadn’t been seen; he was hiding behind a wall nearby. She was hoisted from the ground, and in the midst of this movement, she saw him peek round from his safe place, a brief glance as she was draped over the horror’s shoulders. This wasn’t the end, there was still a chance. As she was lifted high, she couldn’t help but hold her breath as she was hung, hopelessly and gruesomely, on the hook, which had been blackened by countless drops of blood over time.


She saw her saviour emerge from his hiding spot. Her eyes grew wide, and a smile almost crossed her face as he began to move towards her. He stopped. Why had he stopped? She could still be saved and he was the only one that would be able to do it. And then, all hope vanished. He had turned away. Turned his back on her, and ran. He ran away. He ran away from her. The pit of her stomach lurched and her head became light. This was it. He had left her. He wasn’t her partner, he was her deserter.








#WritingContest

STO: T6 ship + Elite service pack give-away
Found by Sizer on our discord.

What's included: 

• T6 MatHa Raptor
• Elite Services Starter Pack
  
  • 36 Inventory Slots
  • 36 Bank Slots
  • 2 Bridge Officer Slots
  • 3 Captain Retrain Tokens
  
  

https://na.alienwarearena.com/ucf/show/2153318/boards/contest-and-giveaways-global/Giveaway/star-trek-online-alliance-reborn-matha-bundle

Captain’s Log, Stardate (apparently) 98799.12, Lieutenant Commander Adria Schneisse commanding.

Oh boy, where do I start? I woke up this morning, showered, ate breakfast, took over alpha watch, and received orders to watch for Klingon activity. We found some. It was 3 of them versus the Thunder Bay but we had it handled. All we had to do was keep the Klingons distracted until the remainder of our forces could warp out. Then we were to also disengage. Just when the final ship engaged its warp engines, a bright flash enveloped the ship and I guess I blacked out. When I awoke, I found myself in a strange room with moving holographic images on the walls surrounding me. I had never seen such resolution in holographics! A man came introduced himself as Daniels and told me in no uncertain terms that I and my crew were considered dead in his time. I asked him how and he said the battle he just rescued us from. But there wasn’t a battle, just me flying the Thunder Bay in big circles making threatening motions at the Klingons while the fleet made its escape. Daniels then told me one of the Klingons had beamed an explosive charge inside my warp core on one of my close passes. I didn’t realize I had gotten that close and my shields never dropped anyway. I told him that was impossible and to check his sensors again. He told me his agency isn’t in the habit of pulling people out of time without all the facts.

Out of time.

I asked him where and when I was and he told me he was dropping me in the early 25^th century. He couldn’t tell me why at that point, just that my specific presence was vital in his timeline.

140 years. One hundred and forty freakin’ years!!! Everything I had ever worked for, everyone I loved, gone in an instant! Damn that Klingon! Damn Daniels! Why me?!? So much for working my way up to commanding a Connie; they plopped me in one and APOLOGIZED for not assigning me a better ship! This 25^th century Constitution-class USS Parliament, NCC-1777 comes from my time… almost. According to her history, she was commissioned in 2290. She then spent the next 50 years ferrying diplomats from star system to star system, “proudly serving the Federation”. She never saw fighting and was never stressed. In 2340 she was placed into long-term storage. After the Dominion War ended in 2275, Parliament was reactivated and updated as much as possible. Today, 35 years later, Parliament serves as almost a shuttle role, similar to her first tour of duty, except Federation Space is a lot rougher now. Every battle she feels as out of time as I do.

I joined to be an explorer, not a soldier. This ship was designed to explore, not fight skirmishes.

I just want to go home. End log.

Brought Forward

"You did what?" Lieutenant Commander Santos-Ruiz shouted.
"I'm sorry, Lieutenant Commander." said Daniels. "My orders allowed me to save one person from the crew of the Perth. One. You're it."
"But Captain Al-Rahni, or Lieutenant B'Rixxa, or, or Commander Smith. Jessie..." Rafe trailed off helplessly, eyes already spilling over with tears.

Jessie. The one person who could effortlessly slide through his defenses to touch the real Rafael Santos-Ruiz. The one he ruthlessly locked away deep inside. Who believed with all his heart Starfleet made a difference every single day. Jessie could make him laugh when he did not want to. She made Rafe think about things in a different, better way. Jessie. Who always, always made Rafe try harder to see, and to feel, what the other person saw and felt. Even when all Rafe wanted to do was scorn them for their apparent failings and lack of effort.

"Daniels? How did...does Jes..." Rafe couldn't finish this sentence either.
"Are you really sure you want to know? It will not affect the timeline. So I can tell you. But I would spare your feelings. If you let me. Please. Don't ask about this."

"No! I have to know! Jessie and I, we were going to get married next spring. I've been to Mississippi to meet her family. They, they would have become my family. Her parents. Her sisters. Her children. Now? All of that is gone! Taken from me by you! Not the Klingons. You tell me, Daniels! You look me in the eye as a man does and you tell me how my wife to be died!"

The urge to break something, or someone, rose in Rafe's mind. He wanted to rend, to burn. To kill everyone who murdered the one person who made Rafe feel. Made Rafe think thoughts which were not part of the darkness. Rafe and the darkness were old friends. Long acquainted. Rafe could see the darkness slowly eating him. One tiny piece at a time. Until Jessie came into Rafe's life. Jessie. Who always had a smile or a quick joke. Jessie. Who infused those around her with a positive energy. Rafe never had a chance. Jessie described herself once as a, 'warrior for the Light'. 

"We all go down in the dark in the end, Rafe. Me? I want to go down swinging! I want Entropy's friends to know it's been in a helluva fight. I want them to wonder if maybe this time Entropy could have lost. You're a good man, Rafe. The fire inside you wants to do the right thing. Which is why I love you so very much. But the fire's being smothered by the darkness and the pain. Dammit, boy! I can't help myself. All y'all broody types are my weakness."

"Daniels?"
"Very well. Commander Jessie Smith made it to an escape pod. Along with two other members of the Perth's crew. The pod ejected and was far enough away to avoid being consumed by the warp core breach. The pod was not far enough away to escape being flooded with radiation from the breach explosion. The shielding wasn't strong enough to prevent injury to the survivors. The medical supplies, the water, and the rations were badly damaged as well. After assessing the situation, Commander Smith hailed a nearby Klingon scout vessel to effect a rescue. The Klingons replied by laughing at Commander Smith. They told her it would be a waste of fuel and time. Commander Smith and the other two survivors discussed and then implemented a phaser overload. Which produced an explosion big enough to completely destroy the escape pod and all of its contents."

As Daniels spoke the horrifying words, Rafe dropped to his knees. Sobbing uncontrollably. The knowledge struck him a blow. Like that from a blacksmith's hammer onto a white hot piece of steel. A blow which irrevocably changed the metal. Forever. Jessie placed by cruel Fate into a situation she had no control over. With no way out. Until Jessie decided to end things the way she chose to. Which was really no choice at all.

It was a very long time Rafe sat there. Slumped over, the pattern in the deck plating pushing painfully into his knees. But that pain was nothing. Not like the thoughts racing through his head. Circling round and round. Like demons from the lowest depths of Hell sensing victory moving swiftly towards them. The thought of never seeing her again nearly drove him insane with grief. But only nearly. Rafe was changed forever by knowing how badly she died. Just as the steel was shaped into a blade by the blacksmith's relentless pounding. He knew he had to let go. Even though he wanted to join her. Jessie, and the promise of a better life, was ripped from his hands forever.

Rafe decided then and there no one else would ever feel this pain. No matter the cost to him or his sanity. It would be hard. Some days it would be beyond unendurable. Clang went the hammer as it beat down on Rafe's soul. Clang as it shaped an edge. Clang yet again as it forged his soul into a tool of terrible power. A blade of great purpose and promise. One Rafe would gladly shove to the hilt into Entropy's throat.

"Jessie? Today I have lost everything. I have no joy, no light, no love. You, my love, have lost too. Not just your life. But the man you wanted me to become. Without you, I cannot be that man. That man had a life ahead of him. Due to your love and joy. All I want now is to destroy the things which took you from me. Which is not what you wanted for me. I'm sorry to disappoint you this way. I wish I could avoid doing so. And it hurts to say these things to you. Saying this might be the hardest thing I will ever do. But your loss, as well as mine, means neither of us can ever care again. Good bye, my dearest Jessie. My light. My center. Forever."

 #WritingContest 

(Reposting, since I deleted after thinking I put it in the wrong place.)

There's the door. I need to get it open. Who knew needing the mop and bucket to clean up after some kid puked on the floor would save my life. Seems the closet here was sturdier than I'd have given it credit for. Damn it! Open, you bastard! I said.. open! Whoa. I guess I'm stronger now. I think I bent that door. Doesn't matter. I can get out now. Good Gods, that sun is bright. Wait, the sun? There should be a whole hospital here. But there's.. rubble. Nothing but rubble. And my closet. I was right and they finally hit that big, damn, red button.

Okay, forget the mirror. I've got worse problems. Everything is gone. I need to find food, water.. a standing building that isn't my janitor's closet.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's been a week now and I haven't needed to eat, drink, or sleep once now. Maybe I don't need to. Whatever happened to me seems to have done that. Had to have been the radiation. That's my best guess anyway. How it did this, but killed everyone else is beyond me. Well, most everyone else. I guess I'm trying so hard to forget seeing those.. zombie things that I'm actually succeeding. If it all weren't so horrible, I'd be laughing that those mindless beasts seem to be wearing medical staff uniforms. But it's too real. I haven't seen a single other soul still in possession of their mind. This keeps up, I might just join them. I don't know how much longer I can go without *talking* to someone. *Seeing* someone. The bomb seemed to have fallen downtown. Right on top of that damned metal bean! At least I figure it did. That's where the center of the crater is. Either way, that eyesore is gone. Damned shame it had to take everything and everyone else with it. I'll head west starting tomorrow. There were caves just on the other side of the Mississippi, in Iowa. Maybe someone made it there. Maybe someone survived.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
100 years! It's been 100 years since those bombs made me immortal. Hahaha.. I used to hate it so much. Horrified at first. Now? Now, I can be whomever I want! These smooth skins don't know a damned thing about the world before the war, except what I tell them. I could be Elvis. Not that they'd know who Elvis is. Damn it. But I could be! I could be the king of Asheland! Not that they'd know what a king was, either. Doesn't matter. They eat it all up. At least the ones who don't try to kill me. Those who go that angle find out how good you get at staying alive for a hundred *freakin'* years! You get real good, let me tell you. I guess I am telling you. And by "you", I mean me. You don't live that long without going a little crazy. But kings are allowed to be a little crazy.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
200 years. Damn it. Kill me. I thought it was sooooooo great when I found other people still alive. Not anymore. No, sir. Stay the *fuck* away from me. Not one of these squishy meatsacks knows shit about shit. Oh, but boy do they all think they do. Some have started worshiping the bombs and their radiation! Worshiping it! It's a whole damned cult! Call themselves the 'Children of Atom'. One of them called me 'Touched by Atom'. Left him curled up on the ground, clutching his gut, after my fist "touched" him. Others now parade around inside restored war machines, stealing anything that even resembles technology, while claiming it's for our own good. Like we really are children. Thing is, between the rad worshiping yahoos and the tin cans, I can't tell who's dumber. All I do know is both want to keep us all in the second stone age here. Just one wants to nuke us all to Hell and back again, while the other wants to take away anything more complex than a flip lighter. Nah. I'm just going to head further west and see what Vegas is like these days. Hopefully people out that way are a bit more sane. Ha! Who'd have thought to put those two things together? Vegas and sanity. We'll see. We'll see who else that war left behind.

Another Stonewall Gaming #WritingContest is upon us and we're excited to announce the theme of our first writing contest of 2021: "Left Behind"

Running now through June 30th, 2021, we're inviting all members of SGN to submit a story of their in-game character from their favorite game, whether it be Star Trek Online, Dead by Daylight, Valheim, Fortnite, Overwatch or any other, but we want you to incorporate the theme of the contest into your story!  Might you have chosen to sacrifice yourself to save others?  Maybe you were betrayed and left to be forgotten?  In any event, we want you to tug at our heart strings so hard that we can't help but sob uncontrollably in the tub as we read your entries!

We'll share every submission with the entire community for them to enjoy, but we'll also be looking for the top three entries that excel in three criteria that we'll detail below.  This contest is open to all members of the Stonewall community, regardless of which games you play.  We're so very eager for you, Stonewall's amazing writing talents, to once again share your talent and creativity with us and your community!


To participate in Stonewall's "Left Behind" writing contest, you must login with your SGN account and post your entry here, in this thread, before day's end on June 30th, 2021.  Please use the #WritingContest hashtag in your entries.  Your posted entry must comply with these additional rules to be eligible:

1. Your story must be written in English (so the judges can understand it)
2. Your story must be your own original work (plagiarism will result in disqualification)
3. Don't make your story novel length; we need to be able to read it in a single sitting!
4. The content of your story must not be edited after the submission deadline of June 30th

Only one entry per community member, please.  While we encourage you to include graphics to supplement your stories if you like, only the written narrative portion of your entry will be judged.  Instructions on how to incorporate graphics in your post can be found by clicking here.

As always, we'll be looking for the THREE stand-out stories among all of the entries.  As we've done in the past, a panel of three judges will individually rate each of the entries in the categories of creativity, detail and impact.  The average of all three judge's rankings of an entry will produce the final score against which, the other entries will be ranked!  The categories are explained in more detail below:

• Creativity: To what degree is the content original or unique?
• Detail: To what degree are elements of the story explained in more intricate detail, rather than simply being stated as fact?
• Impact: To what degree does the story resonate with the reader for a more lasting impact?

The winning contest entries will be recognized on our Facebook and Twitter social media feeds.  We'll also be giving away a participation prize of two Stonewall Credits to all those who enter!  The prize packs are as follows:

First place:

1. 6 Stonewall Credits for use in our SWC Store
2. Featured in the next edition of the Stonewall Times, our community magazine

Second place:

1. 5 Stonewall Credits for use in our SWC Store

Third place:

1. 4 Stonewall Credits for use in our SWC Store

*Stonewall credits can be saved and/or redeemed for real-world and in-game merchandise through the Stonewall Credits Store.

Good luck to all participants!  We can't wait to read your entries!

---

This Saturday we had our annual Stonewall Your-O-Vision Event! It was a phenomenal perfect party with an amazing awesome audience! We had games and fun while listening to this year's Eurovision songs! Here are the results of our games:


1st place - Hoar/AmandaTLevi
2nd place - ThoronDarekMoogie
3rd place - GXV3/Gareth


click images to enlarge

https://www.stonewallgaming.net/photos/170164
https://www.stonewallgaming.net/photos/170161
https://www.stonewallgaming.net/photos/170160


The Stonewall Eurovision Voting winner was "Je Me Casse" from Malta, shortly before the runner-up "Mata Hari" from Azerbaijan, who won our voting last year. And in third place came the "Discotheque" from Lithuania. View all results in the screenshot below or watch the whole scoreboard animation in this link!

https://www.stonewallgaming.net/photos/170168

We had so much fun, thank you everyone who joined in and had fun too!


Now Tuesday and Thursday will be the Semifinals and then Saturday the Grand Final. We're so excited! And we just can't hide it! Sadly, we learned the youtube stream will not be available in the US, but here are two links with information on how to watch it where:
Eurovision Viewer's Guide
Watch Eurovision

May 18th Eurovision Song Contest Semi Final One
May 20th Eurovision Song Contest Semi Final Two
May 22th Eurovision Song Contest Semi Grand Final

https://www.stonewallgaming.net/photos/169230#yourovision21

yeah that fixed it, tried to keep them under 1meg and save them as jpeg does the trick! Fanks 'andsome x

No limit to number, but seems to me limitation on file size.  If you save to JPEG rather than PNG or reduce file size some other way it should work 

Mostly STO, Stellaris, Hand of Fate 2(single player but excellent game) destiny 2, I just got that new game thats like among us but its set in the 60's or something! It's called first class trouble. If you're a bit mic shy you might want to skip it as it forces you to work with each other to solve puzzles! 

I play a lot of sea of thieves but kinda stopped playing as much once i hit pirate legend; Sometimes i play rust but only to mess around with the electricity stuff and build. If you're looking for decent group games then Gangbeasts, Magequit (can not recommend that enough), Duck Game, MK11, Dead or Alive 6; Waiting for baldurs gate to be more "stable" before i time sink it.

If you have VR the Bridge crew is worth a play if you have a team of friends that have it!
pavlov, phasmophobia!! 

Almost 400 games i think; feel free to add me :)

Add me!

to how many photos you can put on your own profile/wall?

When ever i try to upload photos of my toons i get these weird object errors

PLS HALP

https://imgur.com/1JI0pnS

This is really helpful! Keep up these wonderful objectives to help people!

Sam | https://www.autoglassbk.com/

https://games.steelseries.com/giveaway/1561008865/warframe-foxglove-syandana-and-booster-pack-pc-giveaway Warframe stuff

Qaerress, a Sith Sorcerer would like an LOS invite. I am online with this character currently and will stay on until about 11:00 PM EST. I'll update this to the next time if no-one sees this while I'm still on today.

Just saw this. Reflecting upon the past year, I can easily see where someone feels like their life has gone out of control due to the enormous amount of nonsense we've put up with. Here are some things I remind myself of whenever the going gets a little harder than usual.

1). It is okay to be less than perfect. Stop judging yourself so harshly. No one except you sees every tiny flaw in your character. Most of those flaws are flaws only to you. The rest of us see them a lot more positively. And no, we're not judging.

2) Friends and family are everything. Everything. Whenever I get to feeling bad about myself, I check in with my friends and family for some reassurance I'm not the giant tickturd I feel like I am. On a side note, Stonewall is full to bursting with good people who would be glad to reach out and help. All you gotta do is ask. And if you need someone to listen or just to vent at, I'm not going anywhere.

3) Mental health is just as important as physical health. Probably more so. People are hesitant to ask for help because of fear. Franklin Delano Roosevelt once said, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

Lastly, for those who are the ones people come to for assistance: Listen carefully to what is NOT being said. And simply listen. Don't try to 'solve the problem' for somebody. They've come to you first and foremost as someone they feel they can trust enough to expose vulnerabilities to. This may be all they require.

I'm not an expert about mental health. I do know the things I've posted here help me. 

Thank you for this.

Very useful for this weekends endeavour, thanks Andrea :) 

This is a bit late on writing but tonight is calm enough, the drink strong enough (i Know a horrible coping mechanism, those that know my backround I hope will understand) Felt it was good to write out the struggle that things are.

I don't really have a solid way of coping with my depression or suicidal tendencies right now. Before covid struck the world down it was weekly combat with a group of people. It was the one thing I was able to look forward to each week. Since my adult life started it has gone from abusive relationship, bad roommate demanding sexual favors for a continued roof over my head to worse options. I have dealt with being homeless jobless and hopeless a few too many times. Depression coupled with my desire to just end it all have been constant compantions since I was a young child. For the longest time there was no help because I could never say anything to those that could help. Learned early on that trusting the system would just leave you watching it fail you over and over again. None of that past sets up good habbits or mental health.

That mental health always wavering on the varried interpersonal interactions with those you have become close to. When the internalized self loathing is so much that the outside influence of others is your only anchor till you are able to float again, it leaves you easily able to sink. This last week was rough. The days leading up to it rough, suicide sat on my mind every day leading up to tuesday the 23rd. There was a night i fell asleep thanks mostly to my meds, with the blade in my hand. Very little stayed me, i had nothing in my heart that screamed its worth living on still. Tuesday was my birthday, 90% of my friends and family who know that day ignored it. My own twin forgot me. One friend went out of her way to travel hundreds of miles to come up and see me. She doesn't know how much she saved me that day. The people I live with a former lover and care taker of mine left the day mostly empty before me, my children as sweet and loving as they can me gave little comfort to the pain I was feeling. The issolation that followed with being forgoten by those closest to me. Depression, heavy deep dark depression that is so irrational crumbling from something so small to something large and bottomless, its not easy, its endless. The struggle to fight it and find one little thing to cling to and struggle with, the internal nightmares you face that so few others can relate to, least those around you. Its just hard! So many things you tell yourself silently that undermine what could keep you afloat, the constant look for something to validate your continued breathing. Therapy talking to someone helps a little, its taking the edge off. The distractions of life that could help so limited right now, this last year, what looks to still be the year to come. The challenges to what was helping you cope. Find those things that help, hold them in your hand till they burn their memory into you. The smallest thing can save you. Many days its a flip of the coin still, or a spin of the barrel. Its hard, will continue to be hard. Not a matter of strength that will make you pull through least in what I have seen and felt, but which hand and feeling you are able to grasp. What thing or person that will balance you in that moment.

It's getting harder, there is still so much road ahead with endless challenges to what will be life going forward. The smallest thing can become that which carries you through.